Today I start my first day of a week-long vacation. Bekah and I chose to head up to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan to a bed and breakfast whose slogan is "Conveniently Located in the Middle of Nowhere."
Its kind of funny. Often people who live in rural areas head to urban areas for vacations and we are leaving the concrete jungle of Chicago for dirt roads, starry skies, and quietness. My frustration with the car alarms, loud buses, smokers in the front of my apartment, and stuffed trains is making me desire the country. But when my family would come to Chicago when I was younger I remember how boring Lowell Michigan seemed compared to a city that does not sleep. I am always wanting the opposite of where I spend the majority of my time.
I wonder if sometimes I live life always looking at the other side off the fence wondering how I can get greener grass and when I get there I am looking back on the other side realizing that the grass was pretty green and seeing a different field with even greener grass as in high school I couldn't wait for college, in college med school was the next big thing, then residency, now I desire to work on my own.
While I have enjoyed every step along the way, I often get itchy towards the end of that phase for the next one and can't wait to move on as I would start countdowns of the days, hours, and minutes I had left until I was done. But after a few months in my next phase I found myself looking back at "the good ol' days" of having my mom do my laundry in high school, the simple life of college with 25 cent Ramon Noodles, playing ping pong at med school when I should have been studying...
While I could quote all sorts of neat statements about living in the presence because it is all you can influence, it still remains a struggle for me to simply learn from the past, but not dwell on it reanalyzing previous decisions over and over. On the other hand I worry about the future and consider all the different potential roads my life can take and analyze those paths over and over and over.
I guess I am jealous of my sister and future bro-in-law. While they are planning for their wedding they are mostly interested in being with each other in the present. Just enjoying each other wherever they are...and Holly's previous dates are not mentioned.
What is the secret to live in the presence with satisfaction, joy, and confidence?
To me it simply boils down to faith.
Faith that by not living with a focus on results rather being confident that God hasn't given me the responsibility of the world and rather asks me to do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with Him and leave the rest (including results) up to Him.
Seems so easy when I type it out...
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
question
The other day I was at an interview and I was asked "why should I hire you?"
That is a good question as if I were in his shoes I would probably ask the same question, but what about the answer? If someone asked you the same question how would you answer?
One on hand I sat there with my resume of all of the things I have accomplished. Two pages that sums up what I have been doing the last 12 years. When just looking at the paper I could make a considerably solid argument on why I should be hired, but even typing that makes me feel shady. Not shady that I cheated my way to accomplish the various things, rather that there is more to the story than 2 thin pages of paper. Every item on that should have an asterisk (*) that points out that without God none of this would have been possible.
Looking back I have so many times in which things just came together beautifully such as my published research articles. Yes I did the work, but a new professor happen to come into K-State to set up his lab with a research project set up with another student who happened to no longer be interested at the same time that I inquired about a job thus I started research on a project already started is amazing. Another example is my experience of moonlighting at Cook County jail and hospital which just fell into place as I was rotating with a doctor who was looking for help at the same time I was working.
Apart from academics, just great life experiences that have worked out such as the apartment we live in? A great deal that occurred when we overheard people talking at a farewell party. The opportunity to live in a 1913 downtown house in Detroit in med school? Out of a class of 250 at Wayne State I met Todd who continues to be a good friend and had an open room.
I could go on and on and on, but needless to say when people ask my why they should hire me my only answer is because God has been good to me.
Now some people may say that I just was in the right place at the right time, my starts were aligned correctly, or even that God helps those who help themselves. But I would rather believe that an all powerful and all knowing loving God with a perfect plan has graciously allowed me to get to this point so that I can glorify Him rather than believing that random events randomly happened for me, the latter just seems so empty, the former so full.
That is a good question as if I were in his shoes I would probably ask the same question, but what about the answer? If someone asked you the same question how would you answer?
One on hand I sat there with my resume of all of the things I have accomplished. Two pages that sums up what I have been doing the last 12 years. When just looking at the paper I could make a considerably solid argument on why I should be hired, but even typing that makes me feel shady. Not shady that I cheated my way to accomplish the various things, rather that there is more to the story than 2 thin pages of paper. Every item on that should have an asterisk (*) that points out that without God none of this would have been possible.
Looking back I have so many times in which things just came together beautifully such as my published research articles. Yes I did the work, but a new professor happen to come into K-State to set up his lab with a research project set up with another student who happened to no longer be interested at the same time that I inquired about a job thus I started research on a project already started is amazing. Another example is my experience of moonlighting at Cook County jail and hospital which just fell into place as I was rotating with a doctor who was looking for help at the same time I was working.
Apart from academics, just great life experiences that have worked out such as the apartment we live in? A great deal that occurred when we overheard people talking at a farewell party. The opportunity to live in a 1913 downtown house in Detroit in med school? Out of a class of 250 at Wayne State I met Todd who continues to be a good friend and had an open room.
I could go on and on and on, but needless to say when people ask my why they should hire me my only answer is because God has been good to me.
Now some people may say that I just was in the right place at the right time, my starts were aligned correctly, or even that God helps those who help themselves. But I would rather believe that an all powerful and all knowing loving God with a perfect plan has graciously allowed me to get to this point so that I can glorify Him rather than believing that random events randomly happened for me, the latter just seems so empty, the former so full.
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